Representation matters: the queer books we wish we had growing up

This Pride month, three LGBTQIA+ bookstagrammers talk about their experiences with finding their identity reflected in the mainstream

Our teenage selves could only dream about the choice of queer stories we have today (Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash)

While we can all agree big corporations jumping on the Pride bandwagon for a month is cringe-worthy at best, and infuriating at worst, one of the best things on bookstagram every June is the flood of queer story recommendations.

It’s beyond heartwarming to see so many LGBTQIA+ in the spotlight - something which was very much not the case ten or fifteen years ago, when my generation was growing up and figuring out our sexual identities. I already spoke at length about my own bookish bi awakening, so this Pride month I chatted to three fellow queer bookstagrammers about their experiences.

(Not) coming out

For Emanuele (@the.planty.reader), the first type of media he saw himself represented in was actually the TV series Glee. “ I didn’t necessarily see myself in any of the characters, but it was the idea of having openly queer teen characters on TV that resonated with me,” he reminisces.

Even though he’d kind of always known he was gay, Emanuele put a label on it when he was fifteen. And although there was no dramatic coming out story, he admits that having queer stories would have definitely helped him be more self-aware and realise it is okay to be whoever you want to be.

His first mainstream LGBTQIA+ reads were City of Bones (same bestie!), and The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Since then, Emanuele has discovered numerous stories with gay MCs, but the ones he’s found himself most represented in include Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda, because of the whole coming out discussion in it, and his most recent read - The Charm Offensive.

The story he wishes he had as a teen? “Heartstopper, 100%. I would’ve loved to have such a wholesome love story between two teenagers when growing up, and in a time of my life when what I was wishing for was a relationship like that of Nick and Charlie.”

Beyond the binary

Growing up, Riss (@riss__reads) was totally unaware that not everyone experienced attraction the same way as them. “I knew that being attracted to people of the same sex was a thing, but assumed anyone who wasn't gay simply liked everyone - which is what I experienced and later found out was called pansexuality,” they explain, adding that 2020 was the time of their “second puberty”, when they discovered their gender identity as an agender person.

Riss also first encountered queer narratives on TV. “I saw myself represented in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, specifically the character Willow. Though I wasn’t even aware I was queer at the time, seeing a character date both men and women was somehow validating even then,” they recall.

That being said, they definitely think that having more representation of the entire LGBTQIA+ spectrum growing up would’ve hugely influenced their confidence and self-esteem. Back in our formative years, aside from stereotypical gay men and lesbian women, representation was sorely lacking. “Bisexuality, if it was even mentioned, was always framed very negatively, as a phase, or over-sexualized,” remembers Riss. “I grew up surrounded by a lot of biphobia and bi-erasure, which stunted me accepting myself for a long time.”

The type of books they wish were around back in the day include stories like Felix Ever After, written by nonbinary author Kacen Callender, which explores how discovering your gender identity is never a neat, easy process. Other notable mentions for Riss are the Magnus Chase trilogy by Rick Riordan, which features amazing representation for gender-fluidity and pansexuality, as well as the Six of Crows duology.

“Leigh Bardugo takes such a casual approach to sexuality - it’s never a plot point, people just are who they are – and Jesper will forever be one of my favourite bi-icons,” they admit (and honestly, hard same!).

The ‘A’ isn’t silent

Steph (@dragonsandbibliophiles), meanwhile, didn’t realise she was asexual until her university years. “One of the biggest obstacles I had towards figuring out my identity was not realising the difference between aesthetic and sexual attraction. I also didn’t really know what asexuality was, and I’d never even heard of aromanticism,” she reflects. “The normalisation of LGBTQIA+, and specifically aro/ace, characters in media could definitely have helped me realise earlier than I did.”

Looking back, Steph remembers the Hunters of Artemis from the Percy Jackson books, and wanting to be one. “I didn’t get why Annabeth wouldn’t want to be immortal,” she notes. But she definitely wishes there had been more books where the main character doesn’t have any romance or think about romance.

Some of the first LGBTQIA+ stories she read were Huntress by Malinda Lo, and Blue Lily, Lily Blue by Maggie Stiefvater. The first ace book Steph found, meanwhile, was The Perfect Assassin by K. A. Doore.

When it comes to seeing herself represented in stories, Steph says, “Neil Josten from All For The Game really resonated with me, even though he’s demisexual. He’s so unconcerned about relationships, and if I were to ever be interested in someone, I imagine it would be similar to what he went through. I think it might have even been finding out Neil was aspec that had me looking into asexuality.”

Another character she relates to is Paksenarrion in the Deed of Paksenarrion by Elizabeth Moon, who isn't concerned with what she should be doing, but rather she wants to do. “Story and character-wise, I see a lot of myself in Isaac from the new Heartstopper show,” Steph adds.

Uneven split

All three bookstagrammers agree that some parts of the queer community are better represented, naming gay and lesbian stories as the most prominent ones in mainstream media currently.

“It wasn’t until a couple years ago that I found YA fiction novels focusing around transgender and bisexual characters,” agrees Emanuele. “I have only recently stumbled upon ace and intersex stories, and I wish I had found them earlier on, even just to be more knowledgeable about these parts of the community.”

But it’s not that easy finding stories featuring asexual characters. “A lot of aro/ace characters don’t have their sexuality explicitly said,” points out Steph. “And unless you specifically search for it, it’s highly unlikely they’d be the main character.”

“And that’s not even considering queer POC representation which, if it’s featured at all, is often fetishized, heavily obscured, or the characters are killed off,” adds Riss. “I do think queer representation has massively improved over the last couple of decades, but it has a long way to go.”