Age gaps in fantasy: Darklina, Feysand and more

Are age gap romances in fantasy weird, or just part of suspending disbelief?

More often than not, we're too swept up in the fantasy world to worry about age gaps

(Photo byDainis Graveris on Unsplash)

If you’ve been watching Shadow and Bone on Netflix (like many of us book nerds), I won’t be surprised to hear you were shipping Alexander (The Darkling) and Alina. Until we found out he was evil, that is. Interestingly though, no one - including the protagonist herself - seemed to have any objections towards the fact that he was ancient.

In all honesty, I was one of those fans who’d completely glazed over the fact despite having read the books, until my partner pointed it out. I believe his exact words were “He could be her great great great great great grandpappy.”

Once I concurred that he did have a point, realisation started flooding in, with dozens of examples from across the genre. From classic beloveds Aragorn and Arwen (LOTR) to YA’s sweethearts Feyre and Rhysand (ACOTAR), and of course, the pair that defined a generation - Bella and Edward (Twilight). How had these age gaps slipped my radar? Am I the only one who missed this? And does it matter anyways?

I did some investigating among my fellow fantasy readers.

It's just another fantasy element

Emanuele, 25, admits about his favourite ships straight away: “Generally I don't think about their age to be honest, which is probably bad.” Same, Emanuele; although I’m not sure “bad” is the right word, but it’s certainly curious, and worth discussing.

“The only time I thought about it was with Twilight,” he admits. I must confess, I’m not the biggest fan of the vampire series, so I called upon friend of the blog and amateur Twilight expert Maria, 26, for comment.

“I think that the fantastic elements in a lot of these YA books allow us to separate reality from the fantasy,” she suggests. “The man in this situation is an eternal magical creature so his age is just another thing that makes him different from our protagonist.”

“We know that Edward, as a vampire, can’t exist so we kind of forget about the age gap,” Maria adds. “Whereas with couples like Elio and Oliver (Call Me by Your Name) or Humbert and Lolita, they exist in our reality, so we’re more conscious of aspects like their age gap. It becomes more real, because it’s more likely to actually happen.”

“I think the fantasy aspect makes it more distant, and less realistic,” agrees Emanuele. And they’re not the only ones. Emma, 38, adds: “I don't think you can compare romance in high fantasy to romance set in the real world, because the ideas and culture within those races are so different to ours.”

This was, admittedly, one of my original arguments as well, when my partner pointed out the age difference. You’re willing to embrace magical powers, immortal beings, and serendipitous plot twists, but not couples with a few hundred years age difference? I’m a firm believer that if you’re suspending disbelief, you might as well commit to it - insta love and all.

Not always a power play

“The problem I’ve got,” responds my beloved, “is not the age in itself, but the difference in experience that comes with it. If one partner has lived so much longer, they’d inevitably have more power in the relationship.”

Is this true though?

Not according to Emanuele, who is a big Feysand shipper (like myself). “The difference in age is not a factor in the relationship, and it's never used as a power tool,” he points out. “The focus [in such fantasy romances] is on the fact that the older person is usually the one with the powers or the supernatural features.”

And yes, admittedly you do get people like the Darkling, who try and exploit a romantic relationship to gain more power, but let’s be honest - that’s more of a personality thing than an age thing. Just look at Maven from Red Queen; he’s 18 and pulls more or less the same BS.

Emma also takes issue with the power imbalance argument. “It assumes that the people in the relationship have the view that age equals power or authority,” she notes, “and that's a choice as much as it can be a cultural thing, and quite an archaic view in my opinion.”

“I don't really think there's a place for that in a romantic relationship, in the real world or in fantasy,” Emma continues. “Of course there are people who do think that way, but I don't think you can apply that over all age gap relationships.”

I think my bookish pals hit the nail on the head really. Many of us don’t even notice the huge age gaps because they’re either considered normal in the world of the story, or written off as just another fantastical element by our brain. And yes, while fantasy partners can abuse the inexperience of their other half, much like in real life, that’s more a matter of character than age.